Sales pich of the day

AGONIZER: "We'll make it easy for you, suckboy. We will simply warn you: if you buy a TX-1, your kid will become a Negro, thus further reducing your property values and making your hypocritical white neighbors DESPISE you--'cuz you're obviously a property-value fairy. Your hamster will die in a very inconvenient and dark place, OUCHIE STINKIE. Your septic tank will explode. Your fat ugly wife will leave you for a 17-year-old nosepicking skateboarder. And your dog will chew your genitals off. (Golly, I'd pay good money to see that.)"